My appointment with our guest that week was 7.45a.m. I hopped into his apartment about 7.40a.m shortly after I had dropped off my children in their school. Apparently my guest was ready.
Once seated, he asked me to tear each of the three loaves of bread on the dining table and take a piece each.
I was just wondering what that was meant to be. I did anyway but I noticed that though the three loaves appeared in their beautiful package as the same, each slice I took tasted refreshingly different. One had a coconut taste; the second had a pineapple taste, the third a strawberry. They all tasted very nice.
“How do you find their tastes?” my guest asked. “Very nice indeed, but where did you buy them?” I replied. “Well, that is one of the fruits of the reinvention I told you about.”
“The bread is from my industrial bakery. I will tell you more about this next time,” my guest explained.
He added: “But the lesson I want to share with you today is the importance of taking responsibility for any situation you find yourself and the way out of that problem.”
My guest continued: “When my ordeal started, I threw the responsibility on everyone else except myself. I blamed the banks who did not give me enough time to restructure the company and meet my outstanding obligations to them.
“I blamed friends who refused to sympathise with me and lend me helping hands when I needed them most. I blamed relatives who trooped in when the going was good, but disappeared at the slightest appearance of a challenge. I blamed the press whom I thought did not give me fair-hearing. I blamed everyone else except myself.”
“But do you know what I discovered? The more people I blamed the more depressed and miserable I became. For more than four years I was angry with everybody and myself. I was even developing health problems in the process. Every day as I blamed other people, I got the problem on the ground magnified.
“While in that situation, I just reflected on a statement made by Dr. Christopher Kolade when I invited him to be on the board of my company. I felt that with his goodwill bringing him on board would make a lot of difference to the company.
“But in our first meeting, he said: ‘I know what you want to do; you want me to take responsibility for the success of the company. But you are responsible for the success of your company”’. I continued to echo that statement.
“I later realised that placing responsibility for whatever happens to you on other people would invariably mean you have lost your personal power which the higher power has given to everyone. You are in this world for a purpose and that purpose can only be realised by you, and the Higher Power. It means that any action you take is your own action.
“If you bring people into your company and they mess up, you are still responsible as it simply means you did not do the required homework. That simply means that in failure and success you are responsible.
“That concept made my healing process faster. When I meet people whom I thought had offended me, we shake hands but I don’t make reference to what happened in the past. Most of them don’t feel comfortable when we do meet.
“I initiate the usual banters but we don’t talk of past events. You lose focus when you continue to blame others and that would continue to haunt you until you repent.
“I realised that any decision you make only needs the blessing of God, not necessarily that of acquaintances or friends. Of course, you should seek sound counsel for anything you want to do but you must know deep down that whatever decision you eventually take, is your responsibility 100 percent.
“Many people want other people to take decisions for them so that if the things fail, they would find someone to blame for the failure. I have now discovered that success is far from those who have that kind of orientation.
“Most of the creative things I have embarked on started when I stopped blaming others and started looking at what I had at my disposal that I could lean on.
“The more you expose yourself to man without developing the inner fortitude to take independent decisions, the more miserable and vulnerable you become. You really, cannot understand any human being. Even I am trying to understand myself. You cannot achieve much of your potential if you don’t start the habit of taking independent, well-reasoned positions especially in times of crisis.
“My suggestion is: Every action you take, you should take full responsibility working in conjunction with the Higher Power. If you reflect deep enough you would discover that there is always that still voice willing to give counsel. But when you depend so much on others, you rub it of that window of help. You can lay blame at the doorstep of the Creator but if you are smart, you should hold yourself responsible.”
* Recognise that you lose your personal power by blaming others for your circumstances
* Power returns to you when you take 100% responsibility for everything that happens to you
* Never blame others for what life throws at you
* Remember this, everything that happens to you has positive significance
* Beginning from today refuse to blame anyone for your current situation
* Learn to take decisions independently
Article written by Ayo Arowolo, a leading expert on personal development and self mastery.
Culled from Success Digest